Forgetting

 There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret-- or life is yours to miss. – ‘No Day, But Today’ RENT

            I forget stuff - lots of things, actually. I can do something over and over again, but all of a sudden, I can’t recall how to do something or the way something should be. It’s not little things like accidentally grabbing the cordless phone to use as a clicker or forgetting where you sat your hairbrush.

Recently, I tried to put my retainer on the upper teeth even though that morning I’d put them on the bottom (and had been wearing the mouth piece for 2 weeks now). A few times, I haven’t even remembered to put it on until I’d been up for 6 or 7 hours.

Often, I forget where the pans go. I tend to switch the pans so that the big one is on the top and small one is on the bottom (or is it the other way around). I can’t visualize how the pans should sit.

Verbal instructions are things I have trouble remembering. I know that these things are important. I try so very hard to remember them. I make sure to remember them. But, then, it comes time to do the chore or activity again and I forget, thus shrinking a shirt or not stacking something right or leaving a lid open, thus the contents gets spilled.

For years and years, actually until I was 15 or 16, I forgot what I plus and minus sign was. I didn’t know how to use them or how to recognize them. Nearly every day I had to relearn those mathematical signs. The same went for anything grammar related – verbs, adverbs, nouns, pronouns, and commas were especially hard. When reading a passage, I couldn’t properly identify them nor could I tell my mom (who homeschooled me) what they were or how to use them.

I never know what I will forget or when I will forget something. Everything is so random. Just thinking about it creates a blankness in my mind. My eyes widen. My chest tightens. However, I don’t let my forgetfulness hinder or stop me from doing anything. I continue on. I keep working at life and remembering. I will admit if I forget and will ask where something goes if I need to.

I’ve also come up with ways to remember things. I repeat the information – both out loud and in my head. When I have an idea, a question, or learn something fascinating I want to share with my mom I tell her as soon as possible. I make lists, but that’s my least favorite form of remembrance because it makes me panic – I’ve learned that if I have a lot of things to do or buy at the store, a list is my best bet. All over the place, I have notes – mostly of story ideas for my fiction. I believe all of these things have helped me recall things. My mind isn’t perfect, but I don’t dwell on it. If I forget something, I admit it and go on because I’m not going to spend my life regretting my sometimes feeble mind. I’m going to live my life and plug through the problems. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.